So a year ago or so he put this bucket on his head. It was hilarious. You can't see it, but he was cracking up in there, trust me. I was too. Kids.

There really is something to be said for just—letting it be. People are who they are. They feel what they feel. Let them be. Recognize it for what it is. Not condoning. Just recognizing and acknowledging all aspects of it, of someone. Good and bad. Because all of it is real.

There is no reason why we are born who we are. Why we’re male or female. One could be born Paris Hilton. One of Sandusky’s victims. A girl in Ethiopia “circumcised” at the age of ten with a piece of broken glass. The “royal baby.” One of nine all half brothers and sisters because mama has that many baby daddies. Those are people who exist. Who have a mother, just like you.

It’s fine to talk about karma and previous lives and forthcoming ones. But tell that to those people. This is life. And you are in it. Now. You make your choices and you do the best with what you have been born with.

It’s life.

And it is so fucking beautiful. All of it. The drunkenness, the bravery, the selfishness, the art, the sweat, the lies, the passion, the teeth grinding with determination to not die, to not let them get the best of me. You are not different from the homeless guy, the guy who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, one of Angelina Jolie’s kids, your kid, your mother. When will we all recognize that we are one, that we are the same?

I believe in every one and every thing. I believe that one day we will recognize this nameless thing that is in all of us. That makes us human. And we will not strive desperately to prove to each other that we are better, that we are different. One day, we will all be one. We will realize that love is the most powerful thing on this planet, in this universe. And forgiveness will take us so far, because we have all done things that need to be forgiven. Let it be. Let it be.

RIP John Lennon. I love you. 

     "And the child, Francie Nolan, was of all the Rommelys and all the Nolans. She had the violent weaknesses and passion for beauty of the shanty Nolans. She was a mosaic of her grandmother Rommely's mysticism, her tale-telling, her great belief in everything and her compassion for the weak ones. She had a lot of her grandfather Rommely's cruel will. She had some of her Aunt Evy's talent for mimicking, some of Ruthie Nolan's possessiveness. She had Aunt Sissy's love for life and her love for children. She had Johnny's sentimentality without his good looks. She had all of Katie's soft ways and only half the invisible steel of Katie. She was made up of all these good and these bad things.
     She was made up of more, too. She was the books she read in the library. She was of the flower in the brown bowl. Part of her life was made from the tree growing rankly in the yard. She was the bitter quarrels she had with her brother whom she loved dearly. She was Katie's secret, despairing weeping. She was the shame of her father staggering home drunk. 
     She was all of these things and of something more that did not come from the Rommelys nor the Nolans, the reading, the observing, the living from day to day. It was something that had been born into her and her only-- the something different from anyone else in the two families. It was what God or whatever is His equivalent puts into each soul that is given life-- the one different thing such as that which makes no two fingerprints on the face of the earth alike."
                                                 --Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. 1943. 


This has always been my favorite book, since I was nine years old. I feel I better understand the world, my fellow man, and myself because I've read it. If you want to know me, read it. If you want to know yourself, read it. It's so perfect. 

There's rain sometimes
And flowers 
And a moment when I'm certain of who I wish to be
A moment and I'm in it
And a moment as it goes
And I'm back to nothing knowing

When you love yourself, you take care of yourself. This doesn’t mean you lie around taking milk baths and eating bon bons. This means taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually.  So now that you have read Part One and you are a formidable physical specimen, you must tend to your mind, young Jedi. It is not enough to have the body of a Greek god, a Victoria's Secret model, or that guy that played Thor (hubba.) You need some mind muscles, too. Taking care of yourself includes your mental health. Here’s some ways I do that, and it has helped me manage stress and be happier all around.

• Read! Yes, duh, of course this is going to be the first thing I mention on a list of taking care of one's brain. Reading. It really is what sets us apart from all the other animals on this planet. I love reading. Anything and everything. Short stories, novels, magazines, newspapers. I read the shampoo bottle in the shower and the cereal box at the table. I love all the Harry Potters and I love A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I read Glamour and the Food Network Magazine and the New York Times. I read poetry. (What’s fun is reading several different random poets at the same time. Read William Blake, William Carlos Williams and Charles Bukowski at the same time. Cray.) And sorry, tabloids don't count. They tend to be pretty negative. I just think about the relationship mistakes I've made and how much it would suck if they were printed in bright yellow on the cover of a magazine along with an unflattering photograph of myself. No, I can't support that exploitation of my fellow man. 
• Be positive. On that note, I try to be discerning about what I allow in my brain. Some things are unavoidable. But yes, I am "one of those" high and mighty people that doesn't have TV. Sure there is cool stuff on TV, but sometimes you get sucked into watching Honey Boo Boo or Real Housewives or something else that really has no redeeming value whatsoever and are really just full of negativity and drama. Try watching things that educational or uplifting, only. No horror movies, no celebrity gossip. What do they really add to your life that is positive, anyway? 
• Unplug. In addition to avoiding tabloids, it is good sometimes to just unplug and avoid everything all together. No internet, no TV, no video games, no phone. I try to make Sunday my uplugged day. I clean house, go shopping, go for a walk with my son, do other fun household projects, nap... but no falling down the rabbit hole of the internet or checking email every five seconds. I like to get away from all that sometimes.
• Play games. A great and fun way to keep your mind sharp instead of allowing the media to turn it to mush (remember those Hulu commercials?) is to play games! Doing a puzzle (yeah, remember those?) is a fun way to chat with loved ones or whomever and still have something to keep your mind and hands occupied. Plus the sense of accomplishment when completed is lovely. I also love crossword puzzles and do them almost every day. They force my brain to think of things in a fresh way and I have fond memories of them. My grandpa did them every morning, too. (I remember when I was kid he'd ask for help: “Hmmm… What's three letter word for man's best friend?” “It's a dog, grandpa, dog!”) I love playing games. Even though my family can be ridiculously competitive to the point of it being quite nervewracking, I still enjoy it. We play Scrabble, Pictionary, Password, Guesstures, poker, and Taboo. All allow you to have fun and interact with people and keep your mind sharp. (Monopoly is the one exception. I refuse to play Monopoly with my father and older brother. So do my mom and sister. Dad and Richie turn into bloodthirsty Coroleones while your back is turned and my mom ends up crying. We haven't played in years. Seriously.)
• Laugh! On a lighter note, laughter is good for your brain. Even faking a smile releases those happy-making chemicals in your brain. Watch Elf, play with kids on the trampoline, whatever. Keep it light. Laugh when things don't go your way. Pretend your life is a sitcom. They laugh at everything on sitcoms. They learn their lesson and then they move on. Getting stood up or spilling coffee on your blouse is cause for a funny bit on a sitcom, not the end of the world. Remember that little nugget. It’s the ______ Show, you’re the star, and nobody wants to watch a sitcom about a whiny bitch. Life is funny. Don’t take everything too seriously.

• Meditate. Just be still sometimes. Quiet yourself whenever possible. I’m no Zen master of meditation, but I know it is good and calming when I just sit on my bed and focus on my breathing for a few minutes. Try to not think at all (which is totally impossible). I don't know how the Tibetan monks do it. My brain is always racing, but I think the point is just to try be still, breathe deep, wave your thoughts away in your mind if they come, or focus on saying something over and over in keeping in time with one’s breath. “I honor the divinity that resides within in me,” is one I like to say. Throughout your day too, if you can close your eyes and breath deeply literally for just one minute, it will refresh you and give you energy and keep you grounded and whole and aware of your place in this Universe.
  

And you have an important place in this Universe. You are one with me and everyone you meet and those you never meet. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. You are a beautiful wonderful part of a beautiful, wonderful world.

Now, young Padawan, I have shared the tricks of a master Jedi mind like mine.  But you still have much to learn. Stay tuned for Part Three: Heart and Soul. May the force be with you.

When you don't care about something, you let it get dirty, neglect it, don't really pay attention to it or protect it. Have you been doing that with yourself?
When you love something (or someone), you cherish it, you relish every moment in its presence, and you really take care of it. Love yourself, and take excellent care of yourself. 

Today begins part one of Ways I Have Found (thus far) to Take Care of Myself -- my body, mind and spirit. 
I love myself. And no, it is not enough to just say that, although it is a great place to start. (Seriously, say it to yourself over and over, especially if you are having a difficult time implementing some of the things I am about to tell you about.) Take care of your body: it's the first thing you see and people see and the only one you'll ever get. Take good care of it! Love it!
Here's how I have been taking care of my body lately:

EXERCISE 
Exercise! Do it! Yes, the first thing I said, people, is exercise. Are you surprised? Didn't think so. This is totally one of the hardest for me so I thought I'd get it out of the way first. I wish I was one of those fitness freaks who is really into Crossfit or P90X or runs the 5K's every month, but I am not. I am lazy and do not even understand the concept of hiking. I am, however, aware of how much better I feel when I exercise, even a little bit. It is possibe to work in just a little. We can't all afford a daily personal trainer, I know. I just do the following:

• Walk, a lot. (Park far way. And going for peaceful walks is also good for your mind and spirit, which we'll talk about later.) 
• Ditto for yoga which allows you to meditate while exercising your body. I really only have time for yoga once a week (sometimes twice a month), but I go when I can and I never regret it. 
• Whenever you think of it, drop and do a couple pushups.  (I try for eight a day. Laugh if you want, but it's better than none a day.) Do standup crunches (try to bring your knee up to the opposite elbow while standing up) whenever you think of them, too. Do crunches while watching TV.
• Swimming is great exercise and my favorite. (I really must move to the beach...) 
• And stretch, often, especially upon waking and before bed.
  

SLEEP 
Speaking of bed, sleep is of the utmost importance. You need to rest! I know, I know, you have children and two jobs and friend's party to plan and your sister is pregnant and you're behind on your bills and you have to finish writing your memoirs and the cat need his shots. No time to rest!  
Really?How the hell are you going to accomplish all that if your body is exhausted? Just lie down for a minute. Seriously. Lie. Down. 

• Eight hours a night. Try for the same time every night. This is totally what I am working on since I work odd hours. Sometimes I have to work till after four am sometimes I get done at 8 pm... Ugh. 
• Take melatonin or have a glass of wine if that helps you to unwind. DO NOT watch Sons of Anarchy or Hostel right before bed. The intensity of that kind of thing raises your heart rate, and the light from TV and computers disrupts other sleepy-making chemicals in your brain. 
• Get a fan (the white noise it makes is awesome) and a sleep mask (if you got to bed at 4:30 and the sun will be up in three hours), drink some hot tea and read a book or magazine for little bit. 
• And yes, lie down during the day if you can. In many other cultures it is normal to have naptime during the day. Not here in America though. Well, I'm starting a trend, who's with me? It really helps with anxiety, too, if you are able to just relax and chill for a litle during the day. Doesn't have to be too long a nap. A good 30 minute cat nap is awesome. Consciously "untense" all your muscles and start slowly counting backwards from 100 in your head. I'm almost always asleep before 70.

BEAUTY
Look at the products you use and the time and care you spend cleaning and taking care of your body. 

• Use natural and organic products when you can; why slather more chemicals on your body? Tammy Fender, Dr. Bronner's, and Avalon Organics all have wonderful natural products that smell good and are great for your skin. 
• Olive oil and sea salt is a great scrub. And olive oil is a great moisturizer. Put it on your face a night once in a while and put a lot in your hair before bed (wear a shower cap.) It will make your hair so super soft. 
• Don't rush in the shower. (Take baths sometimes, too.) Take your time and feel the heat of the water on your skin. Be grateful for hot running water. Not everyone has it. Get soaps and shampoos and oils that smell good to you and inhale them deeply. Lavender is relaxing, citurs is energizing, etc. 
• Think loving thoughts about your body while you shave, smooth on lotion, and apply makeup.Take your time and be mindful and present of how you love your body while you complete each task. Think of how grateful you are for your body and how happy it can make you, the things it allows you do. If you can walk, eat, think, laugh, kiss-- be grateful for your body. 
  

FOOD AND DRINKS
Watch what you are putting into your body. This is about balance, people. 

• Do some research on your ancenstry, your blood type. Do some experiments. Do you feel better when you eat less dairy? More protein? No wheat? Big breakfast? Figure out what makes you feel good and go with it!
• If you overindulge at a party eating steak and ice cream and too much wine, don't hate yourself for it, just try to drink lots of water and eat lighter the next day: fruit for breakfast, a light salad for lunch, and a light dinner of veggie soup. Balance it out, don't freak out. And don't limit yourself to some ridiculous diet. Food is supposed to be enjoyed. Food is a source of pleasure, and if you feel guilty, can't enjoy all the pleasure food has to offer. Moderation is the key to balance and happiness. You can have red meat, and sweets, and alcohol. You simply cannot overindulge in them to excess regularly, or every day, for that matter. 
• Try to cook at home with fresh produce when you can. You don't need me to tell you that all that processed crap with 20 ingredients that you can't prounounce is bad for you! You already know that! 
• Drink lots and lots and lots of water. Like, two gallons a day. You can't drink too much water. I like SmartWater. It is delicious and has elecrolytes.
  

HEALTH STUFF
Supplement your mindful eating with teas and herbs and vitamins suited to your specific needs. Do a little Googling to see what herbs can help you with your particular ailments. The people at health food stores are helpful too. 

• Rhodiola rosea is good for mood and energy and focus and doesn't interact with other medicine like St. John's wort can. Look into other herbal extracts and homeopathic remedies. 
• Organic natural teas are my favorite. I drink tons of tea. I like Traditional Medicinals (Breathe Easy and Easy Now are awesome) and Yogi tea (I like their Detox and Green Tea Kombucha.) 
• Kombucha is wonderful for... I can't explain it... a feeling of well-being. I like G.T. Dave's Synergy. 
• Kefir is another wonderful food I have found tha makes me feel great. It has probiotics that help your guts and it's yummy! 
• Also I drink a little apple cider vinegar in the morning with breakfast. Great for your skin and overall health. 
  

SEX AND CONTACT
Love yourself. Love others. Skin to skin contact is important. Little babies need skin to skin contact with their mothers to survive and grow. That need for love and closeness in order to thrive never really goes away. 

• Hold hands with your kids, your lover, even your friends. Get lots of hugs. Remember that you are one with the person you are hugging. Get a pet and stroke it lovingly, often, no matter what kind of pet it is. (I want a pet snake.) Showing affection and receiving affection is good for your body.  
• Have sex, often. Wooooo! Masterbate. Often. Sexy time releases all the chemicals in your brain like endorphins, oxytocin, epinephrine... you know, happy ones. And your blood pressure is lower, and your skin glows and, well, yeah, how many reasons do I have to give you to have sex, anyway?! Love your body for what it can do for you!
• Get naked in front of a full-length mirror and look at your body and promise yourself that you will love it. You will always love it, not matter what. This is your body; this is a huge part of YOU. Love it, cherish it, touch it, take care of it. It can make you happy in so many ways. 
• Oh, and wear condoms, kids. Always wear the condoms and always go get your exam every year. It's part of loving and taking care of yourself.
  

PREVENTION
And while we're on that note, keep up with your other doc appointments. 

• Eye doctor once a year if you have contacts or glasses. Keep that prescription up to date so you can see all the beauty the world has to offer. 
• The dentist twice a year. Floss too, every day. 
• If you have a conditon, like asthma or diabetes, make sure you are regularly communicating with your doctor about that, and also possibly look into alternate treatments like herbs or EFT or acupunctuure or reflexology. I have had success with many of these. Just find which one works for you. 
  

You are such a beautiful person, and a beautiful part of a wonderful world. You have an amazing perfect body capable of the most incredible things! You can comfort a friend with your hugging arms, you can run to the rescue of a child with your legs, you can give someone else (and yourself!) the greatest pleasure in bed with your whole body, you can taste the richest most exotice and delicious foods with your tongue... Love your body. Take care of it. And always love yourself, no matter what.

Stay tuned for Part Two: The Health of Your Brilliant Mind! 
Peace and love.

It ended with eight hours in the hospital getting my sweet little baby 12 stitches in his lip. (No, you can't see pictures of that.) 
It was awful. It happened so fast, right in front of me and I couldn't stop it and I couldn't believe it had happened. We had had a lovely day eating sushi, playing at the playground, taking a nice bath... We were playing and being silly and next thing I knew he had fallen face first onto a plastic toy and was gushing blood from his lips. Yeah. Not what I had planned. At all.
But he's fine. I am so thankful for the talented doctors sewing up teeny tiny stitches in his little lips. Minimal scarring. Such a tough guy. (He held my head in his hands at the hospital and said, "Hey, mom. Don't cry anymore. Everything is okay." God I love that little man.)
Lately, I have been not-drinking and sans-shopping and calmer (I'm taking Rhodiola rosea, great stuff), and I stayed calm and positive and the whole thing went as smoothly as possible. Apparently taking your little boy to the hospital for stitches is a rite of passage. Fine, but it sucks. A lot.
Thank you to everyone sending him healing love and energy. I love my baby so much and I'm glad he is going to be fine. 
And anyways, chicks dig scars. 

I was going to write a post about how loving yourself means taking care of yourself, and list the best ways I have found to do that. I will still write that post for you, since I think the things that I do have helped me love myself more and stress less so that when something quite shitty like this happens, I am able to keep it together. 
Peace and love and Frankenbabies, till next time...

Ah, the old once-a-month post. Ergh. I'll post more often now. Promise.
Want to know what I've been doing? Well, I'll tell ya what I haven't been doing: drinking or shopping.
Yep, for the month of September my dear friend and Tasty Sister Rachel and I have been refraining drinking alcohol and shopping. ("Wow, that's like, spiritual," my well-educated, successful ex-father-in-law said when I told him. He was not in the least patronizing or sarcastic. I could tell he was just seriously pondering what that must be like.) I'll tell you what it's like: awesome, and empowering, and frustrating. It's awesome because I feel healthier and haven't been hungover in a while. Not dehydrated or bloated or anything. It's empowering because I am proud of my own willpower. Okay, so I bought mascara and a new journal, but not BOOTS or scarves or this really cute blouse I saw at this little boutique on the Westside. I am writing more and reading more and I am not worried about bills because I have enough money to pay them all this month because I am not shopping. (See? I may be a shopaholic...) But it is frustrating because, yeah, I torture myself. I browse MyHabit, I stop at little shops on the way home, I ogle the stuff on Sephora. Oh, and I'm a bartender. But I can do it. It's actually not all that difficult. So far so good. And yeah, I suppose it is a tiny bit spiritual. No drinking to alter my consciouness and numb the pain of human suffering? No acquiring material possessions that I ultimately cannot bring with me into my next incarnation? How very Tibetan monk of me. 
So there's this: Is there something, anything, that maybe you do too much of? Something that you don't even like all that much, it's just habit? Or something you like too much, so much that it is distracting you from what is really important? Video games? Smoking pot? An unrequited love? You don't have to quit forever. You don't have to join AA or sell your console on ebay. Just quit for a month. If you can do it for a month, you should be good. When the month is up, start small. Video games for 30 minutes a day. Weed only on Saturdays. A set shopping budget. (I'm working on it.) You can do it. You will feel so much more confident and powerful and in control of your own life. You will recognize all the other good things the Universe has to offer. You will better sense your own energy and the energies around you because your biggest distraction (or two) will be out of the picture. You'll see more beautiful things. People will seem less obnoxious. You'll get laid more. (And I'll bet you like that.)

Also I am fairly certain if I owned these Christian Louboutin boots my entire life would change. For the better. Seriously.

For me, it was discouraging.
I have been changing quite a lot over the past two years. 
I have been changing, the world has been changing, my life has been changing, the people in it have been changing... And I am just going with it. Going with the flow. I have my old job back but I am different from when I worked there before. And there are different people there, too. I don't have the same friends. I was never good at that. Never wanted to be. I am a relentless editor. I am always editing and purging and cleansing my life and my space. Some of these people and things I miss once in a while, but most I don't. They just sneak up on me, random memories sprung on me guerilla style after I see a green Ford Bronco like my first boyfriend drove, or a Tom Petty song a friend would make up silly words to every time it came on the radio. I rarely think of these people, and when I do it is not with any bitterness or regret. Cutting people and things out of your life -- forever-- is a good thing. 
Remember that saying that "you are the average of the five people you hang out with the most?" Well, that has made me nervous and nauseous on more than one occasion when I've thought of it. I am going to be far more careful about who I allow in my life. Not that I wish to be judgmental or act like I am better then people. That's not the case at all. 
Please. 
It's that I know myself, and I over-sympathize with people and allow myself to get dragged into their drama and I ... care too much. It's not healthy. Once I have taken care of myself and what is important to me, and once I know I have people in my corner who are inspiring and uplifting, people who love me and are a positive influence in my life on a regular basis, and with whom these benefits are mutually reciprocated, then I will be in a position to help those needy drama queens that I tend to be drawn to... that I tend to enjoy being myself, occasionally.
I can't keep hanging out with people who are projects, people who just give me an ego boost because (for whatever unknown reason) they are but two degrees sadder than I am. Yes, it is good good for my ego, but not for  my life, my future, my dreams. 
No hanging around with people who drag you down, who have nothing but drama and problems. So yeah, I have been a little lonely lately, now that you mention it. I just eliminated a hell of a lot of people from my social circle. The one girl I thrived on spending time around and saw as my equal (maybe two degrees happier? maybe improved my average?) has moved to another continent. Most of the unfortunate folks in my biz or satellite industry circle have too much drama, do too many drugs, drink too much, have neither goals, nor drive, nor ambition. I'm certain there are people like me who are trying, who actually give a shit. (I am thankful for the few I do know. Love you.) But I'd rather hang out with no one but myself then a bunch of people who have subconsciously given up. Or are trying for all the wrong reasons, for all the wrong things. No, it's not easy. I love all my old friends. I forgive them, and myself, for the things we may have done in the past. It is a Buddhist teaching that "everyone you meet is your teacher." I was fortunate enough to hear that long ago and I quickly took it to heart. I believe that I can learn from everyone I meet, from every encounter, every experience. An old friend (whom I rarely talk with now) gave me a poem one time about how "people come into your life for a reason, or a season or stay forever," (or something.) It said, "whether you are here for a reason or a season, or forever, I am telling you that I am glad you are here now."  I have remembered that for  while now, and I do not feel guilty for falling out of touch with certain people. I am one with the Power and Wisdom of the Universe, and the people in my life now are the people I am allowing in my life now, the people I think I need now, and vice versa-- they need me. If I am in tune with the divinity of my spirit and the divinity that lives in every other living thing, then the people in my life will be beautiful people that reflect and manifest that. 
It is time to move on. It is time to face the future and become the best possible versions of ourselves. Not re-drag each other down, reminding each other of past mistakes, or making each other feel guilty for not helping each other out. A friend in need is not a friend indeed. A friend is someone you believe in, someone you invest in and you know you are getting a good return on your investment. They value you, the see the best in you and encourage you, nay, demand of you that you reach your full potential. And you are thrilled to do the same for them. Hang out with those kind of people. These are the people I want to surround myself with. And I will. I am. 

Here's to flying to solo for a little while...

I am going to continue my blog.

I am someone who is trying to better herself. I love myself and I have come a long way from the girl who lied constantly to please other people. I came from the culture of women “one-downing” each other to see who had it worse and was thereby more of saint for doing more (more casseroles, more obedient children) with less (less money, less emotional support, less phyisical beauty). One didn’t complain about it except in a passive-aggressive sarcastic way.  
Well. No mas. I am an independent woman. I don’t complain, either. I do the single next thing that needs to be done in order to change and better myself and my circumstances. I do not care what my parents think or what you think or my brother or that jerky middle school principal or the God-squad girls in high school or the Pope or anybody. I forgive all of you and I love myself and I don’t care what any of you think of me.

I think it is important for me and for everyone to be creative. And honesty in art is always a good thing. Sometimes you can cleverly disguise it and that makes the piece all the more beautiful for those that uncover it, but I am an artist and a writer and this blog is about me as a person  who cannot be separated from her art. Art is the moment, the experience, the enlightenment that occurs as it is made. Fuck the haters. I will do what I want.

I read about Gala Darling’s controversy and my heart goes out to her because she is a reasonably well-known celebrity in the blogoshere now and that will naturally invite controversy. Still, it sucks. People like to say hateful mean things about celebrities, and anyone more successful, attractive or interesting, pointing out (or making up) flaws and/or mistakes (usually from the past), all the while acting as though they have made none of their own.

People. We have all made our fair share of mistakes. (We are One, remember?) I won’t say if I've made more than average or less than average. What the hell does that mean anyway? Someone who only messes up HUGELY a few times is better or worse than someone who messes up less tragically on the reg? What a ridiculous discussion in the first place. 

Stop. Judging. People.
 
Never say, “I can’t believe they would do that.” You’re implying that YOU would never do that, thus saying you are better than them and your fuck-ups (what fuck-ups?) are less consequential and severe than theirs. Which is not for you to decide. That is for the Universe to decide. So play fair. Be forgiving. Get back up after you fall flat on your face in front of everyone and make an ass out of yourself.  Be gracious when your neighbor does. Be yourself. Love yourself. Never apologize for being yourself. Always, always, always, do the right thing. Even when it is "lame" and far less entertaining. 
Trust your gut. Be honest and direct with people and they will be honest and direct with you.

"For when the One Great Scorer comes
To mark against your name,
He writes - not that you won or lost -
But how you played the Game."
(from the poem "Alumnus Football")
-- Grantland Rice

Peace, love, and Rainbow Sparkles